Practical Tips on How to Overcome Masturbation

Practical Tips on How to Overcome Masturbation

[This article is based on insights obtained in the course of helping young people to deal with the habit of masturbation]

Masturbation is a topic that many people find difficult to discuss. However, it is one of the major forms of self - abuse that is destroying the lives of millions across the world today.

Friends, before we delve into the practical aspects of this topic, it is important for us to have a basic understanding of what masturbation is; and what it is not. I will simply define masturbation as the practice whereby an individual intentionally stimulates or touches his or her sexual organs in an erotic manner until he or she ejaculates or comes to the highest point of sexual pleasure. Masturbation is often practiced by most people with the aim of satisfying their sexual desire. At this point, I must be quick to add that masturbation is different from wet dreams which take place without the conscious effort of the individual concerned. The term wet dreams do not necessarily mean that the process involves people having sex with other people in their dreams. If you realize that you are experiencing sexual intercourse with other persons in your dreams, then that's another serious issue that is linked with demonic possession. You need to see your pastor for counselling and possible deliverance. However, wet dreams like I said earlier, usually take place without the person having any consciousness of sexual activity during his or her sleep.

Young people must realize that going through the experience of wet dreams is normal, and must not be viewed as a negative stage in their growth process. Young people (both males and females) must be taught that the situation whereby they sometimes experience high sexual libido is a normal part of the growth process. And this sexual tension is released through the normal process of wet dreams.

But friends, our topic for today borders on the negative habit of masturbation which involves a conscious effort on the part of the individual to abuse his or her own body sexually. In our 21st Century 2016, where religious relativism reigns supreme, many people view the act of masturbation as a normal practice. However, the Bible does not agree with this popular opinion. Just like other sexual perversions such as homosexuality, bestiality and bisexuality, masturbation is also a sexual perversion, and a sin before God.

To appreciate the above point, one needs to appreciate the biblical fact that God created sex for two legally married people (Genesis 2:23-25). From God's Word, only two persons; that is a man and a woman who are legally married, have the right to have sex (Exodus 20:14). What this means is that for a person to have sex with himself or herself through the stimulation of the sexual organs until he or she has reached the peak of sexual pleasure is a deviation from the original plan of God; and thus a sin.

My counselling experience with young people who were enslaved by the habit of masturbation made me to categorize people who masturbate into three main groups:

i) The first group of people who are entangled in the practice of masturbation are religious people who are dating, courting or going out with members of the opposite sex with the intention of getting married in the future. This group, usually the men, find it difficult and embarrassing to ask for sex from these close friends due to their religious convictions and sometimes leadership roles. Even though such people may not ask for sex from these close friends, they willfully go ahead to lust after the partners they have promised to marry and masturbate in the process to satisfy their sexual desires. People in this group may appear very religious on the outside but corrupt and degraded in the inside. On the outside they may show a form of religion or piety that many people might even want to emulate but in secret they are worse than many a well - known fornicator or adulterer. With such a wretched heart, it doesn't take long for such people to go all out in open defiance against the commandments of God.

ii) The second group of people who are entangled in the practice of masturbation are people who are hooked on pornography of diverse forms. These people are hooked on pornographic materials such as nude pictures, hard core porn movies, porn in bits as found in secular movies and music videos, pornographic magazines such as playboy, and love books that detail pornography. As these people watch and read about these sexual escapades, they usually lust after and long to have sex with the people in the videos or books who have brought them to such sexual highs. However, since such people cannot be reached physically, they are forced to lust after them and masturbate in the process. Through continual use of pornography, the mind of this group of masturbators is destroyed by illicit sexual content, and it can take only the power of the Holy Spirit to set them free.

iii) The third group of people who are caught up in the practice of masturbation are people who use the act of masturbation to seek release from strong sexual tension which they believe have accumulated in them for some time. Many of such people bring upon themselves these unnecessary sexual burns by unknowingly consuming in regular manner high amounts of sexual libido boosting foods. Even though the people in this category may not engage in masturbation as a result of lustful indulgence such as pornography, they must still realize that masturbation is contrary to the biblical order of sex as stipulated in Scripture, and must carry out appropriate measures to overcome the habit. Such people must as a matter of necessity refrain from eating foods that increase sexual libido if they want to overcome the habit of masturbation. Examples of sexual libido boosting foods include: Bananas, Avocado, Almonds (and nuts in general), Mangoes, Peaches and Strawberries, Figs, Garlic, Spinach, Watermelon and Honey. The list here is not conclusive; for there are yet other foods that trigger or increase sexual hormones within the body system. Thus, if you are an unmarried person and you realize that the consumption of some particular food items increase your sexual hormones, then you must check this hormonal stress by cutting out or avoiding such libido boosting foods. I'm not suggesting by this point that you should totally refrain from consuming the food items I have cited above. In fact, you will definitely need a good amount of some of these fruits and vegetables for a balanced diet. However, if through careful observation, you realize that any of the foods listed above boost your sexual hormones to an unnecessarily high level, then you will have to cut out this particular food item to protect yourself from high sexual tensions that may lead you to masturbate.

Friends, these are the three groups of masturbators that I have so far uncovered from my counselling experience with young people. You may identify yourself with either one of the groups; or two or even all the three. But I want to encourage you that it is possible to quit this practice irrespective of how long you have been enslaved by it. You might probably have even given up in trying to quit the practice as you have failed time and again in trying to overcome it.

But what you need to know is that masturbation, like other addictive practices such as alcoholism, smoking, lesbianism, gayism etc. cannot be fought with our physical strength. It is only the Lord that can give you victory over the practice. From Genesis 18:14, we read that there is nothing too hard for the Lord to do. The Lord of hosts can help you to overcome this habit, and any other negative habit because He has done it for me and several other people; and so why not you? The Lord has helped me to overcome several negative habits that I exclaim in adoration unto Him when I compare my miserable situation in the past with my present spiritual situation now. Beloved, the fact that the Lord could help me to overcome serious flaws in my life is one reason I believe He can help you too to overcome this habit or any other negative habit if you are willing to surrender to Him. You must realize that various self-help books may offer several suggestions, but it is by the grace of God alone that can help us to overcome any addiction including masturbation.

Beloved, even though the Lord is ready to help anyone of us to overcome any negative habit, including masturbation, there is something that we must also do to overcome the sin that easily beasts us. Some measures that people involved in masturbation and other forms of sexual immorality need to adopt in order to overcome such habits are as follows:

i) Break up that amorous relationship. Beloved, if you are in a relationship with a lady or a gentleman; and you are consistently tempted to lust after this person, and then masturbate to fulfill negative sexual desires, then you must explain things to such a partner and break up the relationship. From Mathew 5:27-28, we learn from Christ that adultery is not only a physical sexual act with persons we are not married to, but even if we look at a woman lustfully, we have committed adultery with this person in our hearts. My beloved friend, in this text in Matthew 5:27-28, Christ wanted to make it clear that sex begins in the mind, and that the Lord will judge all lustful thoughts.

Friends, when we continue to read Christ's words in relation to adultery as found in Matthew 5:29-30, we come across a startling statement that our Lord made in relation to the secret sins of adultery. Jesus said this: "If your right eye offend you, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: For it is profitable for you that one of your members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell." This statement was of course an illustration. Christ did not mean we should physically harm ourselves. However, He meant that we must do away with the things which cause us to fornicate, as fornication will lead us into hellfire. And my dear friend, the right eye which we must pluck out if we want to avoid hellfire involves a partner you are consistently lusting after.

ii) Destroy all pornographic content materials such as nude pictures, porn videos, love books and porn magazines in your possession. Moreover, you must also refrain from watching series, Tele Novellas, secular movies and music videos that almost always contain sex scenes, kissing scenes and nude scenes. This is what I refer to as watching pornography in bits. The devil knows that for some of you, who profess to be Christians, he might not get you to watch explicit hard core pornography but he is well satisfied when he is able to get you addicted to the screens that offer Tele Novellas, series, secular movies and music videos. He knows very well that as you watch these things, he will be planting pornographic contents in your mind that will war against any desire for spiritual maturity.

Friends, If we do away with the things that cause us to lust after the opposite sex and thus leads us to masturbate, it shows how committed we are to partner with the Holy Spirit so a work of revival and reformation can be done in our hearts. As I have mentioned earlier, the things that we may have to get rid of may include people we are in a relationship with, items such as nude pictures, pornographic videos, series, Tele Novellas, secular music videos, porn magazines and love books. At the moment, I have stopped watching all kinds of secular movies. I do not listen to secular music or watch secular music videos. I hardly even watch secular TV. These are measures I have put in place to help me develop and maintain a pure mind. This is because even though items on our screens today especially the movies, music videos, series and Tele Novellas may not be classified as XXX - rated, but by the time you are through with them, you will have been exposed to kissing scenes, nudity and love - making which will trigger the desire to dwell on impure thoughts, lust after the opposite sex and eventually also masturbate.

iii) Beloved, as you strive to do away with the things I have enumerated above, the next line of action to take to enable you to break the habit of masturbation is to pray. You must however be aware that Prayer will definitely not help you to overcome this habit if you still possess pornographic materials in your closet. For instance, praying with nude pictures on your phone will be like traveling to Canaan with the idols of Laban (Genesis 31:30). You must get rid of anything that causes you to lust after the opposite sex if you want God to take you serious in prayer.

Friends, after you have cleared your table of the filth of pornographic content materials, you can then begin to pray to God for the strength to overcome. Pray honestly for strength from the Lord and He will provide in abundant measures. You must pray consistently for strength. You must fast to show commitment and sorrow for your sins. You must cry unto the Lord, and He will help you. Friends, dealing with the addiction of masturbation and other forms of sexual immorality require all the seriousness on our part. As Jacob wrestled with the Angel throughout the night, (Genesis 32:22-31) so must we wrestle with God till He has delivered us from this base habit. As we struggle with the Lord in prayer, strength to overcome will be poured upon us in abundant measures.

iv) Beloved, besides prayer, fasting and wrestling with God, another important practice that can also help you to overcome the habit of dwelling on impure thoughts that lead to masturbation is consistent Bible study. Beloved, feed on the Word of God. In the beginning, it might not be interesting. It may even be difficult to study the Bible but don't quit, stay with the Word of God. Read it, study it, memorize it, and contemplate on its themes. Study the Bible everyday, and before you realize, you will have fallen in love with it. Feeding on God's Word will begin to wipe the negative base thoughts and images that have been stored in your mind through illicit sexual indulgence, and replace them with wholesome thoughts about the love of God. It is this change in thought patterns that will enable you to gain complete victory over masturbation and other forms of illicit sexual behavior.

v) My dear friend, to gain a victory over masturbation that will last; you must come to realize that the battle of the mind is a continuous battle. At the moment, whenever my mind veers to base or illicit items, I quickly bring it back to wholesome thoughts. We are living in a world that is full of sin. We are exposed to temptations everyday; and at all places, even at church. Nude billboards, seductive and provocative dressing from the opposite sex and many other forms of temptations that drive the mind to contemplate on sensual things abound in our society today. The secret to overcoming these evil is mind control. We must quickly take filthy subjects away from the mind and replace them with wholesome thoughts. For instance, when you are sure that a particular spot has a negative billboard, you don't look at the place as you drive past there. This might seem difficult to practice but if you make up your mind, this exercise will become easier to practice. The Lord will strengthen you as you buck up these determined efforts with sincere prayers. It's my prayer that if you are addicted to masturbation, the Lord will strengthen you to put these counsels into action and actually give you complete victory over this base habit.

Exhortation: "¹ I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. ² And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God" (Romans 12:1-2).

"But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof" (Romans 13:14). Friends, God is calling out His children from the base practices which have become the norm in our society today. Will you take a bold stand for the Lord and be separate from the world today? If this is your wish, why don't you ask God in prayer now to help you do just that!

Stay blessed and keep shining for King Jesus.

Samuel Nyarko